Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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