i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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