There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
