The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
did i just pee glitter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
