Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
