you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
