But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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