I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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