You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
