Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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