He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
