I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
