You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So squirting runs in the family.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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