I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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