It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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