To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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