that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
