I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
