I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So many bounce houses so little time
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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