I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
