Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
