you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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