I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
