I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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