margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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