ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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