you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The beer is more important than you right now.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
