Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
