D3 body, D1 cock
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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