Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
