3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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