Got a toothbrush?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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