I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Be still, my beating vagina.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
