She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
