You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
