It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
