its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
