It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
