Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
