did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
