so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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