You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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