Just cropdusted the office
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
