i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize