Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
