this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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