sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
