sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
