i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
