'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
