i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
