talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
