I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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