My room smells like vodka and shame
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
